This is what happened when my band, Surgery Dot Com, played at Comet Ping Pong on 11/19/11 with Booze Riot and Replicant, pushing our agenda of broken amps, wrecked minds and ruined lives.

This was only Surgery Dot Com’s second show. The first one was in September at the Corpse Fortress with At The Graves, the Coits, and two bands from Olympia, WA, that ruled. So, we were very eager and amped for this show.

We worked hard to write a sick set of new tunes which we couldn’t wait to subject an audience to. With that in mind, we warmed up in the parking lot. My former job is a few doors away from Comet and I barely suppressed the urge to vandalize that basement bookstore coffee-shop piloted by a Napoleon complexioned swine which shall aptly remain nameless.

My original plan was to send every member of Booze Riot and The Coits into the place right before closing time and have them order complicated and expensive drinks only to proclaim that their drinks sucked while demanding reparations. But since one Coit couldn’t make it to this show, the potential for the destruction of property and a brawl was severely reduced and that put a damper on the whole evening.

Anyway, back to reality for ping-pong and pizza. The Com has one of the best vegan pizzas I have enjoyed inside the Beltway. While munching a slice, I started getting into that nice whoa-where-am-I-what-the-hell-is-going-on-who-am-I-why-am-I-here-whoa-man-whoa-rock-n-roll state of mind that generally sets in before a gig.

Replicant opened the show with what could aptly be termed “some good, heavy, post-hardcore-influenced metal. The ‘Cants seem to be nice guys who are enthusiastic about what they do. Fun fact: They had, by far, the nicest gear of the three bands on this bill, and accordingly they sound far more professional than yr humble Dot Commies. They reminded me a little bit of Zao, but are more “musical.” I eventually learned that the guitar player used to be in a band with one of the Zaoists. Let’s just say he that didn’t have any fond things to say about him. Yeow! Whoa! Hey! Alright!

While Booze Riot was setting up, somebody plugged an ipod into the PA and played Black Flag and Minor Threat and noisy ’90s alternative rock, which ironically put me in just the right mood for the Booze Riot. I’m very intimate with this band – a little too intimate, some might say. Their guitarist and vocalist, Brain Riot, is one of my (and Ross Dot Com’s) roommates, so the Riots is at the house often (a little too often, some might say), and we all share gear and booze and food and stuff – it’s kind of like we’re all members of the same tribe, or, to be more specific, like we’re all a mottled collection of flies, united by our position inside a tangled spider’s world wide web, vibrating frantically, arrhythmically, and pathetically.

Speaking of Booze Riot, I’ve heard like a million of their practices. They keep getting heavier, tighter, crazier and, in a word: better (Editor’s note: I  too like my bands like I like my women ftw).

This show was the best I’ve seen yet. What I love about this band – in addition to the Riot’s straightforward and catchy old-school punk/hardcore rock – is BR’s attitude. Far too often, bands give me the impression that they’re running down a checklist of requirements for whatever genre or scene they’re trying to fit into.

The Riot does not give me this impression.

Rather, the Riot gives me the impression that they are insane motherfuckers (literally) who aren’t out to impress you, me, or anyone else. BR’s mass of confidence, energy and good old fashioned audience harassment made their’s my favorite set of the night. …

… My spazz-o-meter ticked up another notch as Surgery Dot Com prepared to hit it.

I was planning on using Booze bassist Aus Doyle’s amp since mine blew out at practice the night before (not the first (or second or third or fourth) time I’ve pulled that off); then Doyle’s amp blew a fuse at the end of their set. Luckily, Replicant’s bass dogg was cool enough to loan me his rig. It’s always chill to use other people’s stuff that’s way nicer than anything I could ever afford.

Before I’d even had time to attempt to figure out how this amp worked, Ross was surfing waves of feedback and Dan was slaying his drums, setting up the intro to our first song. I “got it together” just in time.

What happened next is what usually happens to me during a gig that doesn’t suck: As soon as I started playing, the spazz receded and was replaced by total immersion in the music.

I love playing in this band. I love Ross’ twisted and gnarled, yet pretty, layers of guitar and the way he sings mellow melodies on top of it, and I love how Dan plays choppy off-beat (yet also on-beat) rhythms with understated tastefulness.

I hope my bass playing, with its hardcore and Black Sabbath influences, sounds good with what they do.

I’m not sure how to best describe what we do, but we’ve been compared to Sonic Youth, Placebo, Swans, Q And Not U, and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzz.

What I know for sure is that the three of us tore it up at this show. The songs sounded tight, the stage banter was almost as awkward as a Lemonheads gig, the crowd was decent-sized and seemed into it, and we were way into it. Everything was going great until the last song. Ross and I were so overly distorted that we got lost in the sauce. At one point I looked at Dan and then at Ross and realized that we were each playing different parts of the song. I guess they caught this at the same time, because the next thing I know, Ross is flailing across the stage and throwing his guitar on top of a speaker to let it feedback and Dan and I jam our way out of the mess. The audience, of course, is largely unaware that we arguably made a mistake — they’re loving it!
Thanks a bunch to Rep, Booze, Ross ‘n’ Dan, Comet, vegan pizza, jobs that fire me, gullible audiences, DayAfterDay and whoever’s reading this.

In order of importance, the morals of this story are:

A) Always play from the heart.
B) There’s a sucker born every minute.

Editor’s note: A

Paul, who has called Bradley Manning a “true patriot” and a “hero” also is in second place in the delegate count for the Republican nod.

During a speech at a campaign rally last year, Paul said that he supported for immunity for whistle-blowers:

“What about giving immunity to the whistleblowers? They’re the ones who need immunity. We have a few brave souls, especially in the foreign policy area; it came up in Vietnam, it’s come up more recently: Wikileaks. Technically yes, they’re breaking a rule, but what is the government doing?  They’re breaking the law!”

Political observers note the contrast between the major Republican candidate who supports PFC Manning and a Democratic administration that has subjected him to abuse and now threatens him with the death penalty.

“There is a wide base of support for Bradley Manning across the political spectrum - not only from progressives, but also many libertarians and conservatives,” said Kevin Zeese, a legal adviser to the Bradley Manning Support Network.

“Ron Paul’s support for Bradley Manning is indicative of the fact that the true dividing line in American politics today is no longer between Republicans and Democrats. The real division is between a corrupt political establishment and those who seek a democracy that respects the rights and aspirations of the American people. Americans of all stripes are standing up for Bradley Manning because they know that the dangerous precedent set by these extreme abuses of his civil liberties threatens all of us.”

According to chat logs that have been attributed to PFC Manning, the accused whistle-blower himself identifies as a libertarian, and several close friends have privately told representatives of the Bradley Manning Support Network that they consider PFC Manning to be a libertarian.

I wanted to say, “Gettin’ ignorant with Sepultura!” That would have gone over her head, though.

This show was legit. Asefu’s is a cool little joint. They were playing an old-school R and B radio station throughout the night, even while bands were playing, so between songs you’d hear traces of The Temptations or Stevie Wonder or whatever in the background.

Guilty started things off and they ripped. They’re still in high school, but in true Minor Threat fashion are nonetheless some of the illest musicians in town. I been playing guitar for as long as this dude’s been alive and he shreds circles around me. Their drummer, moreover, pummels the living shit out of those drums. Normally I’m not interested in musicianship in and of itself, I’m much more concerned about the energy and emotion of the music, but Guilty pulls musicianship off with taste. I dug their style: punk/core with Sabbath-meets-Metallica riffing, technical / math-y parts, and harsh, yet tuneful, vocals. If this kid starts smoking and drinking, the sky’s the limit (j/k). They played as a 2-piece at this show, but apparently they usually have a bass player and keyboardist too. I’m curious to hear what they sound like with the complete lineup.

They’re nice guys, I chatted with ’em after their set and made sure to give them words of encouragement. I remember when I was that age starting to play in bands. A bit of support can go a long way.

Next up was D.O.C. – the District of Columbia’s Disciples of Christ – the local scum-grind pushers supreme. Tim, Nolan and Chris are three of the hardest, meanest motherfuckers I’ve ever met, and they channel their malevolence into an ear-splitting sets.

The last couple of times I saw them, the sound was an indistinguishable blur of fuzz and feedback and I was frustrated that I couldn’t hear what they were doing, but this time the acoustics served them well and they wrecked my already-damaged eardrums with clarity.

All three members of the band share vocals and they each bring a distinct style to the table, which keeps things sounding fresher than the average grindcore band. I found Chris’ vocals particularly guttural and intense. The guitar and bass are tuned down to Satanic lows and are massively loud, distorted and feedback-infested, the drumming is hard as fuck, and they make really gnarly faces as they’re playing.

All of this, combined with frenzied yet tight jams, creates a brutally visceral vibe. It’s a suitable soundtrack to losing one’s mind or dabbling in occult practices (not that I would know).

Hey, let’s talk about Laughing Man!

This was the first time I heard/saw them, but I hear they’ve been playing around DC for a while and their sound has changed a lot in that time. I saw some vids of an earlier show where they had this bluesy thing going on, but at this particular show they played spacey indie rock with cool guitar and bass interplay, minimalist drumming with odd-time tendencies, smooth vocals and catchy tunes.

I had mixed feelings about their set. Sometimes I got into it, but sometimes they were too monotonous and repetitious for me, and at other times they seemed to me like they were trying a little too hard to sound weird and quirky. There was at least one song that was a blatant Fugazi ripoff, a totally clichéd cop-out move in D.C. indie rock that’s especially disappointing coming from a band like this – one that’s talented enough to create an interesting sound of their own. However, they played well and had a good energy about them, ftw.

Boom Boom Kid. Holy. Shit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody bring it as hard as this guy.

The Kid is a very short, very flamboyant and, from what I’ve heard, very sketchy Argentine man with a beautiful voice who is a star in his home country, yet is so obscure in the States that he has to play his super-tight, super-catchy, hardcore-influenced pop-punk in basements and Ethiopian restaurants in front of a few dozen sketchy punkers.

The Kid and his band put on one of the most inspiring shows I’ve ever seen. BBKid is an incredibly energetic and enthusiastic performer, jumping, whirling, twirling, contorting, kicking and thrashing all over the goddamn place, whipping his long bleached dreads in the audiences’ faces while singing his ass off flawlessly.

I don’t mean any of that to sound negative or angry or destructive. On the contrary, he radiates charisma and is so passionate – every note out of his mouth and every movement of his body seemingly comes from the bottom of his heart – that everyone in the audience gets swept up in his energy.

At one point he reached over and pinched my nose. It was a moving moment for me. Afterwards, I went up to BBKid, slapped him 5 and told him how much I loved the show. He thanked me profusely, with this awed expression on his face like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, then gave me a sweaty, stubbly kiss on the cheek.

It was a sick show even though there were no drunk and/or tweaked-out degenerates, no vandalism, no senseless destruction, no fights, no awkward public sex, and no gun play as far as I know. It was still worth the price of admission, I guess.

- By James Dot Com

I didn’t want to deal with the tram system, and I knew this show was a little ways out of the center of the city where I was staying, so I rented a bike. Don’t get so excited, American bikepunks. Despite a vastly higher percentage of cyclists among the general population, I did not see any bikepunks during my four days there.

When respectable middle-aged and old people ride bikes, it isn’t so cool. The other thing is that these bikes SUCK.

Everyone rides one-speed cruiser style bikes that look like they haven’t changed since the 1950s. The bike I rented had cruiser handlebars which made it REALLY hard to steer. Also, there is so much traffic from scooters and other cyclists, even on the part of the street that is bikes-only, that cycling in Amsterdam isn’t quite as ideal as many bike enthusiasts would like you to believe.

This show was at a place called Occii, which apparently used to be a squat, but now looks like any other club. However, I missed it the first time I rode past because the exterior looks like the front of a church. Once inside it kind of reminded me of the Warehouse Next Door, if the bar was on the opposite side and the place was about twice as wide. The place really filled up after the first band or so – so much that I had trouble moving around, which is always annoying. There were probably at least 75 people there, maybe 100.

The first band was Government Flu, which I gathered because I had already seen 3 of the 4 bands playing tonight and I did not recognize any of the members. They played pretty well, when they played fast it sounded very good but when they played mid-tempo songs it got a little boring, because they didn’t really grab me with any hooks. I was trying to think of a band that they sounded like when they played an Antidote cover, I think it was “Something Must Be Done” if I’m remembering correctly, and I realized that Antidote would be an apt comparison.

Citizens Patrol played next. This was their hometown show after doing a week-long tour with Direct Control. I had seen them once before in June 2008 at the Bobby Fisher Memorial Building in DC. They played fast and tight like they did then, and I think they were better than last time. I really liked them live and had the urge to buy their new LP, but realized I have two of their 7 inches that I never listen to, so I didn’t think it would be a good investment.

Still, Citizens Patrol is one of the better bands doing the fast retro-’80s thing. Their riffs tend to be more original than those of a lot of other bands, which for me is the most important element in this genre.

Night Fever was on third. They are from Denmark and the guitar player from Citizens Patrol told me they are getting sort of “big” in Europe. It was interesting to see the same band on a stage thousands of miles away from where I saw them last, which was at the Corpse Fortress in July. I thought they were better than before, but my earlier criticism still applies (that the songs all sound sort of the same and it sounds like their songs just hang on the same chord the whole time). I realized that I thought all of the bands today were better than when I saw them before, probably because this was the first time I had seen three of these bands playing through a proper sound system.

I also said before that NF is influenced by ’80s hair metal. I definitely still think that due to the fact that the singer does a lot of high-pitched screams. The crowd definitely got going during Night Fever more than before, probably even a little more than during Direct Control.

This is also when there started to be more stage-diving. NickTape was correct in his observation that Euros tend to stand on stage for a while, looking for a suitable place to jump, and go at it half-heartedly. Americans tend to run up and jump wherever, taking the risk of not being caught. Although the Euro approach makes more sense for the personal preference of not injuring oneself, it tends to clog up the stage with people for too long. The Night Fever singer made a “jerking-off” motion at somebody who was standing on stage for too long. I thought it was somewhat appropriate.

Direct Control was the last band. They are from Richmond, but don’t play DC very frequently. The last time I saw them was at Hole In The Sky in February. Direct Control is pretty much the best of the fast retro-’80s bands. They’re the band everyone wants to be. Their 2004 masterpiece “You’re Controlled” made many lists of the top records of the last decade.

It was clear that most people in the audience who were singing along knew the songs off this record. They played well. It was my second time seeing them with current bass player Ryan from Municipal Waste, who plays a bit noodlier than previous bassist Eric, who played with the band for the majority of its existence.

They played an 18-song set, and near the end singer/guitarist Brandon started to look pissed because they had been playing for so long, even though it was still probably only between a 25 and 30 minute set. He said it was the longest they’ve ever played. It was the last show of their tour, and he said probably their last show ever in Europe.

It was remarkable how similar hardcore shows are, no matter where you go. Everybody in the audience and the bands were wearing shirts of American bands. Aside from everybody speaking Dutch it wasn’t that different from a show in the US.

Overall, it was a very good show that ended by midnight (which was good) at a cool venue. I would go there again if I’m ever back in Amsterdam.

Was Pat Vogel there? Surprisingly not.

- James Doubek

I don’t really know how to describe their music, but if I had to, I would say they sound like if BAD RELIGION, NIRVANA, and RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE had a three-way ADD baby that licked wallpaper glue at an early age. I know that description sounds like some shit 100% of us would never want to check out, but I think they are good. Their live shows are always entertaining too, as Seth Feinberg (interviewed below) is quite a frontman.

The first time I saw  the Coits, they started their set with Seth nonchalantly dropping stacks of china plates onto the floor; a computer followed; then a keyboard.

Fellow-rager Teresa took it upon herself to try skateboarding in the small basement.

I looked up and saw a caste of freaks: a guy in sunglasses, a few random punkers I had never seen, a norm-looking drummer, and my friend Simon wearing a hockey jersey literally solo’ing over the entire set.

I was bewildered. What the fuck?

I ended up getting really pumped. The tunes were decent, but the live show was incredible. The destruction was contagious.

Teresa tried to smash the keyboard, but with no luck, so I told her to hold it up for me while I tried to punch my fist through it. I ended up getting a really big gash on my hand (stupid), but I was pumped and it didn’t hurt, so who cares?

1. How and when did the Coits come together?  What were the goals of the band upon its inception?

First of all, thank you, NickTape, for your enthusiasm and support for the band. I’m a big fan on yours and of Coke Bust, so it is quite meaningful to me. Also, thanks for giving me a chance to talk about my favorite subject: myself.

Secondarily, it’s great that you think we sound like Bad Religion mixed with Nirvana. That’s the idea. I don’t know where you get Rage Against the Machine from, although I like them a lot; there is rapping in only one of our songs, and we don’t play that one anymore.

I think we sound like a blend, so sweet and supple that it sounds like it was churned by Betty Crocker herself of, (roughly in order of prominence): the Dwarves, the Stooges, early Megadeth, Nirvana, the Sex Pistols, mid-period Bad Religion, Phil Ochs, the Ramones, Minor Threat, Leftover Crack, A Warm Gun, Usuario2, early Bad Religion, Alice in Chains, the Beatles, Jane’s Addiction, Refused, and Rage Against the Machine – with a twist of lemon.

The Coits started in 2003 at the Notasquat and Georgetown University. The band was started by John Albaneaze and me.

John was just learning how to play guitar, but he is a savant when it comes to songwriting. He wrote most of the Coits’ songs. He also contributed to the lyrics. We are good friends who are on the same wavelength to an extent that is highly unusual (for me).

The members of the band we cultivated were like-minded burnouts and feminists who didn’t fit into with pervading G-town norms and thought our music was cool; because we were in college, people were always studying abroad, dropping out, or quitting the band because we didn’t sound like Fugazi, but we didn’t let that deter us and we stuck with my vision: self-aggrandizement and smashing computer monitors.

Roughly in this order, the goals of the band were: compose and perform catchy and creative hard punk with overt grunge, folk, hardcore punk and garage rock influences, complemented by funny and political lyrics; not be a boring, formulaic, trite live band (unlike damn near every band I watched perform around the time); use our shows to support causes we believed in (we played a lot of shows to benefit campus workers; we were lucky that there was a lot of activism around labor issues on campus at the time and we were able to participate and do a lot of fundraising for the cause); use our shows as a vehicle to have fun and give our friends opportunities to have fun; win back the Liz of my life; play as many cool shows with cool bands and get as much renown as possible; overtly reiterate and propagate the most subversive, intelligent, interesting and humorous aspects of Nirvana and the entire rock ’n’ roll genre (it’s a great genre); get high and fuck, get high and fuck, get high and fuck, get high and fuck, (etc.); and unsettle the squares. We’ve accomplished many of our goals.

John is currently attending law school at Columbia, but played one show with the band in 2011 when Psi-Dog quit (Ain’t Scared Fest II, featuring the HR band, A Warm Gun, and the Screws); John is also set to play our eight-year-anniversary celebration in October. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but we took 2005-2008 off. Our first show was at the Notasquat, on Oct. 12, 2003.

2. Can you run down each of the members of the band and tell us a little bit about them?  What do you perceive their meanings of life to be (including yours)?

Zomawia “Chino” Sailo, guitar: An avid and talented artist, snowboarder, musician, and artist of the information superhighway, Chino is a quintessential antisocial badass with a heart of gold. The child of a hardworking and well-educated single mother, Chino grew up in the ghetto of Gaithersburg, Maryland, with a tight and exceedingly racially diverse group of friends who were also generally into alternative rock and punk. A big fan of At the Drive In, the Black Powder Fuzzbox, Fugazi, and Gang of Four, Chino is a member of a relatively obscure Indian ethnic group, the Mizos. He looks Asian (hence his longtime nickname) and has visited his family in India. He once told me that Mizos are “stupid and cheap.” He is quite self-effacing. He was the soundman at the notorious D.C. punk-rock venue the U-Turn. We met when his old band, Pattern Against User, played the “Punk Rock Picnic,” at Georgetown University back in 2004. I solicited bands for that show on the Pheerboard, so the internet brought us together. Chino is smart, generous, a true friend and a very useful person to be friends with. We played in a hard-folk band called Usuario2 in 2007 and 2008. That band sounded like a mix of the Coits, At the Drive In, Sunny Day Real Estate, Pattern Against User, and Refused – with folk lyrics – and we played some really good shows and were well received by our friends. Usuario2 ended when our guitarist and primary songwriter, Adam Piece, moved back to Boston to pursue his true love: music that sounds more like Sunny Day Real Estate. Chino recorded, engineered and mixed the 2008 Coits EP “Live from the Future,” and he and our friend Kalim started the very first Coits mosh – a major milestone for the band. Chino joined the Coits in the summer of 2010. He currently lives in Baltimore with his cool, smart and artistic girlfriend, and he is considering quitting the Coits. A skilled and unique guitarist, he is responsible and has a good job. He is arguably the most unconventional, liberated member of the Coits, which is really saying something. He is the third coolest-looking member of the Coits.

Shintario “Shin for the Win” Doi, bass: Shin grew up in Japan on a steady diet of alternative rock. He is extremely bright; I’m not sure if he is a genius or not. We met at Georgetown University in like 2004 (we became friends in like 2005). He was considered the best bassist at Georgetown and he went to his fair share of Coits shows back then. We played in a band called Coitus Detritus that played one exceedingly destructive show in 2005. Shin is very artistic, articulate, and well versed on international affairs, economic theories, technology, and many other matters. He works at the Black Cat, a Washington, D.C. rock club. An experienced political activist, he has held a very wide range of jobs, from anti-mountaintop removal organizer to trade union spy in a Starbucks to deep house party doorman to Thai chef. Lately he has been getting too buck. His parents have high-status jobs. He has also lived in Korea and Thailand. He is very knowledgeable about a large number of genres of music, and can also hold it down on guitar and drums. He is a good songwriter, but doesn’t really write songs for the Coits. He and I interviewed Ian MacKaye in 2005. He has also interviewed Joe Lally. He is also a badass with a heart of gold, but he is not a Chino-level badass. He is a great friend and a generous guy. He joined the band in 2008, when Prescott got the band back together (replete with John and me) from a three-year hiatus to really freak out the squares and teach the normal indie rock lames what rock ’n’ roll really is (did we ever!), and Shin fit right in. He is the second coolest-looking member of the Coits, which is really saying something.

Simon “Psi” Cohen, guitar: A virtuoso-type axist and a prominent metal promoter in the D.C. underground, Psi has an excellent sense of humor and is keenly intelligent. He is the leader of the Guns (and fucking) Roses-type band Midnight Eye. The son of a diplomat, he went to the same boarding school in Switzerland as a son of Kim Jong Il. Psi joined the band in like 2008, after John went to law school, so we went from having a beginning-level guitarist to a Marty Friedman-type. A talented writer and a regular contributor to the punk media outlet DayAfterDayDC.com, ol’ Midnight Psi has already quit the band three times and is currently considering quitting the band again. Who knows how many times he will quit? Personally, I think it’s safe to say that only God knows. Psi-Dog has long hair and is the Coits’ primary songwriter at this point. He lives in Bethesda, Maryland, is a graduate of the University of Maryland at College Park, and teaches guitar “for a living.”

Prescoit, drums: The son of a working drummer, Pres is half-Greek, which is important to him. While in college, he studied in Greece and worked for the Greek embassy in D.C. We have been friends nearly since I moved to D.C. in 2002. A graduate of a prestigious D.C. college, ’Scotty is a lifelong friend of a close pal o’ mine from G-Town (our aforementioned mutual friend Nat “The Tyranny” Hunter played keyboards in the Coits for a few years, drew our logo, and can be heard on Coits recordings such as 2010’s “Scanning for Viruses” EP and 2004’s “Smooth as Cut Glass” EP – Natty is currently attending law school in a small town in Vermont). A promoter of house music events in D.C. (“Deep Secrets”), Pres is arguably most badass member of the Coits, which is really saying something. He joined the band a few months after our first show, and he fit right in. It was really nice to have a drummer who played drums; it changed our sound. We were roommates at the Hardcore Hilton when he was in college (I graduated in 2004; he graduated in 2006). Of the six members of the band, he is perhaps the third-most into punk; he has an extremely wide range of musical tastes. He has been a great friend to me over the years. I have never been able to keep up with him when it comes to partying, and I stopped trying to keep that killing pace a long time ago. He grew up in Louisville, Kentucky, but considers D.C. home. He is a big sports fan and a talented lyricist. Operation Ivy was his favorite band in high school. For more information on Pres, please see below. A few months ago, his enthusiasm for the Coits waned, but he seems to have regained his motivation for the project.

Garrett Underwood, guitar: The most recent addition to the band, G joined in early 2011, after Psi-Dog quit. He was a Coits enthusiast before becoming a Coit; he appears in our video for “Funk Rock for the Left Wing” as part of the crowd. In the video, he is disregarding an inane temporary Corpse Fortress dictate by smashing a television during our set ftw. The youngest member of the Coits by several years (he is 21), G has been in a number of notable D.C. bands, including Wyld Stallyns 3000, Body Cop, and Ilsa (he is currently in Ilsa). We met at a Wyld Stallyns show in 2007. A cross-dressing bisexual, G memorably said: “I thought I was weird until I joined the Coits; the Coits are fucking freaks.” He fits right in. He is arguably the most unconventional and liberated person in the band, which is really saying something. He is one of only two people hardcore enough to live at the Corpse Fortress on two distinct occasions. He parties like a drug addict and walks dogs for a living. A native of Rockville, Maryland, G is highly intelligent and is very popular within “the scene.” He is not considering quitting the band (as far as I know!), but Ilsa is his primary focus. I am encouraging him to compose more music and lyrics for the Coits. He is the coolest-looking member of the Coits, which is really saying something.

Seth “FTW” Feinberg, mouth: Thank you for affording me the opportunity to talk about my favorite subject: myself. I am a negative creep. If asked to expound upon the subject, I would reply that I am the son of a pair of righteous freethinkers with unusual integrity. I feel that, at my best, I am a cross between my parents (with whom I am close): My mother is a librarian, book critic, author, journalist and nature enthusiast; and my father is a politically-aware tough guy, former Union boss, NRA member, nature enthusiast and sports fan. I have lived a charmed life and am a Christian (Christ never said anything about queers, but he said lots of things such as: It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of the Lord; “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s, but render unto the Lord that which is the Lord’s,” etc. Plus, he surrounded himself with prostitutes and social outcasts, singlehandedly rioted the money-changers, offered wisdom about the importance of forgiveness and peace, etc.; for all of this, of course, he was put to death). I am highly politically engaged and follow world affairs much more closely than the average person, and I am an environmentalist, trade unionist, Zionist, and Democrat (in that order). I have a younger sister who is a badass with a heart of gold; we grew up in the middle of the woods in a very small town in upstate New York. I was the only person into punk in my town; there was about a dozen other kids in various grades who were into punk and hardcore throughout the course of my middle/high school career (the towns up there are so small that kids from several towns attend schools in a central location; it was the ’90s, so I had a pal who had blue hair and was into Christian punk, etc.). We lifted weights to Sick of It All, Agnostic Front, Minor Threat, etc. In a “notable” twist of fate, I first heard Nirvana on an elementary school field-trip to D.C. There was a boom-box on the bus and the kids were playing Ace of Bass. My friend and I commandeered the ’box and played “Teen Spirit” dozens of times in a row; it took hours for the other kids to start complaining. I got into Minor Threat in eighth grade, courtesy of a high school senior who grew up in D.C. They quickly became one of my favorite bands. Growing up, I never knew anyone who was straightedge. Most of my good friends back then were wiggers, drug dealers, or nerds. I was all three, of course. I’m still close with most of my good friends from those days, and they generally dig the Coits. Courtney Love once said, “Kurt was pretty much not a loser, when it came to songwriting.” I’m pretty much not a loser, when it comes to writing. I’m an expert on George Orwell; I strongly recommend his essay “Politics and the English Language” (available via the D.I.Y. media outlet DayAfterDayDC.wordpress.com), as well as his lesser-known novels.
In addition to Christianity, socialism and Zionism, I strongly believe in evolutionary psychology.

I think the meaning of life is to enjoy oneself, help others as much as possible, forestall the demise of every species on earth (including our own) at the hands of humanity, and, of course, to reproduce as much as possible (to the extent that the pursuit of that goal doesn’t impede the pursuit of the aforementioned goals). I reckon the rest of the band agrees with this assessment.

3. It is evident that you are all a very eclectic group of individuals with very different lifestyles. How does the band mesh? How do you all get along?
Our lifestyles might not be as different as they seem; we all really like partying (with the possible exception of Chino, who is the most aggressively antisocial member of the band) and we spend a lot of time going to shows; we work because we have to, but would all rather pursue our musical / artistic / political / athletic / sub-cultural / habitual / personal interests full-time.

Brendan Griffiths once described us as “an extremely diverse group of extremely liberated people,” which is high praise. Big Al Acosta describes us as “the bad boys of D.C. D.I.Y.” – we’re all fairly subversive and interested in alternative lifestyles.

We get along well; sometimes we get annoyed with each other, but we are close friends in general (although there are inevitable “relationship dynamics” in a six-person band with a wide range of musical tastes and non-musical interests). For example, it might seem that Pres and G have nothing in common, but they get along really well. I consider everyone else in the band a close friend (except Simon).

4. I am specifically intrigued by your drummer, Prescott, who works as a lobbyist for a trade association. Apparently he is quite a hit with the ladies. How does he do this and what is his style? Feel free to speak for him.
Prescoit is extremely gregarious, socially adept, and easygoing, and he’s fun to be around. Additionally, he’s handsome, funny and a secret genius. He has a good job and parties like he’s in Ilsa. That combination of is a well-trod formula for sexual success (depending upon one’s definition of sexual success, of course).

According to Prescoit, he learned everything he knows (about getting girls, not drumming) from Pip (the Lone Rangers’ drummer in the awesome 1994 comedy “Airheads”), who was portrayed by Adam Sandler. Pip gets “his hands on more bumper than a body shop”, as explained by frontman Chazz Darvey (Brendan Fraser). “While some may mistake his style for the I’m-so-stupid-I-must-be-cute routine, in actuality, that’s the quiet cool – chicks, man, they just flock on it.”

5. What are the songs about? What is the lyrical MO?
In general they have always been political statements, love songs, diss tracks, and diss tracks that are also self-portraits – all delivered with a twist of lemon. Generally the music is written before the lyrics, but not always. I’ve been writing more diss tracks lately than political songs, but hopefully that will change soon. I’d like to offer some of our lyrics, as I feel that is the best way to answer this question.
Also, I would like to note that our well-received lyric “God is gay / Burn the flag,” is a line from a collection of Kurdt Cobain poetry which appeared in the “Nevermind” liner notes. The line “You’re all alone / Afraid they might be right,” paraphrases a line from the song “My Music at Work” by the Tragically Hip.

Funk Rock for the Left Wing (Punk Rock for the Right Wing):

I am God’s gift to liberty / I’m proof of meritocracy / My ride’s a nice ripe SUV / High-fashion, fuel economy //

Fuck ‘em all / Don’t give a shit / Make a mess / Pay for it / Eat the earth / Shit it out / Fat ass gets fatter //

USA / Back on track /  Out of the ’Stan / Out of Iraq /

Legalize it / Tax that shit / Get high and burn the deficit //

God is gay / Burn the flag / Quit yr job / Buy a bag /

Change and hope for better dope and sassy punk and easy funk //

‘Cause girl you know I’d never fight / But I would fuck your ass all night / I’ll pass along L.O.V.E. / Don’t worry, girl: I’m GGG //

I’m tryin’ hard to excite you / You know that you excite me too /
I’m working out and boxing out and eating out and selling out //

Exceptional! /
Number 1! /
God is great! /
Life is fun! /
Easy street /
Party time! /
Liposuction //

USA is just OK /
Pray for myself 12 times a day/
I’m getting buck/
And high as fuck/
I’m born & bred with winner’s luck //

How many protesters does it take to change a light-bulb?/
How many protesters does it take to make a change?/
How many protesters does it take to change a president?/
How many protesters does it take to hang Bashar Assad?/
None – they can’t change anything//

Evolution shits on myth /
I put my faith in scientists /
I’m quick to tow the smartest line /
Easier than having my own //

Revolution equals bliss /
I put my faith in anarchists /
I’m quick to tow the coolest lie /
Sexier than having my own mind //

I’d love to torture George and Dick and all of their fascist axis /
I’m singing loud /
Nobody cares /
Looks like the joke is still on me/
Wear a tie around my neck/
Too bad it is not a noose/
Too bad it’s not a noose//

Eminent Enemy:
When the only thing yr fomenting is conformity
When the highest times of yr best days are receding rapidly
When the state is yr provider and yr eminent enemy
Then you might think that we have certain commonalities

Day after day /
Night after night / Good God /
You’re all alone /
Afraid they might be right/
Sometimes you gotta win/
So sometimes you gotta sin /
You gotta have a pig if you wanna have bacon//

When bad habits crush all of your mental capacity
And yr losing common senses and most basic faculties
And yr hiding in the woods with nothing but your vocabulary
And you feed yr vice with yr utmost force and alacrity

You’ve been forsaken / Been thrown away /
A lifetime of mistakes have all conjoined and taken you to this day /
You’ve been abandoned / Been written off /
Yr life has been appraised and it was quickly deemed a total loss//

Yr on the bottom /
Yr on the top /
And yr glaring down the ways and means and things at which you’ll never stop

Yr on the right track / You keep it real /
Yr always looking all around / Searching for something new to steal

Yr constant sorrow /
Yr solely sad /
You know you’ve gone and thrown away the best things that you ever had

Yr on the right track /
You keep it real /
Yr always looking all around /
Searching for something new to steal

You got your bottle /
I got my pipe /
We’ll laugh our asses off and have another useless day and night

Yr on the bottom /
I’m on the top /
And we’re glaring down the ways and means and things at which we’ll never stop

“Scanning for Viruses”
You’re the anthem of peculiar procrastination
You’re the anthem of delayed gratification
You’re the anthem of cliched degeneration
It’s ultimately the story of your life

You’re the anthem of another lonesome useless cause
You’re the denial of a bland personal problem

Scanning for viruses

Take it easy, don’t think twice
Keep telling yourself it’ll be alright
Take advantage, pay the cost
Spend your whole life trying to get off

You’re the ultimate in ripping off the government
You’re the ultimate in sleeping in a closet

Scanning for viruses

You’re the image of functional rationality
You’re the image of clear-headed practicality
You’re the hero of a desultory victory
As boring as the story of your life

You’re the anthem of another weary useless cause
You’re the anthem of a bland personal problem

Procrastinating, getting high
Watching your life drifting by
Take it easy, don’t think twice
Keep telling yourself it’ll be alright

You’re the anthem of another lonesome useless cause
You’re the denial of a bland personal problem

Scanning for viruses

“Wheelbarrows Full of Cash”
I find the things I need are on the wrong side of town
So I’m stumblin’ ’round the edges of the outskirts of town
And I’m playin games of inches, but I’ve lost by yards
And I get the things I need when I lie and I put up my best guard

Wheelbarrows full of drugs, boys
Wheelbarrows full of drugs
And I wouldn’t shrink
And I wouldn’t think
And I wouldn’t call it love

And I might be mistaken
And might just slide away
And then be forgotten
I’m left behind these days
And you might find it irksome
And might not stay the night
And I might never need it
No matter what it’s like

I sure do hope you’re thinking
Just what I’m thinking of
And I wouldn’t blink
And I wouldn’t shrink
And I wouldn’t call it love

I’m not getting stressed about some universal mess
I’m just worried about my life
And where will I be in 2023?
Still singing the same songs
Just looking for something to believe in

I’m full of sadness
I’m full of rage
A lifetime of mistakes have taken me to this day

Oh my God I’m going crazy
I’m not insane, I think so maybe

Wheelbarrows full of cash

And I may be mistaken
And may just go away
‘Cause there is sure no telling
Just what I gotta say

And I’ve earned the right to spend my life
Down on the wrong side of town

6. Your band has achieved cult notoriety within the D.C. scene for breaking large quantities of electronics during your sets. Some people have criticized this as a tactical gimmick (Ed: If it is a gimmick, it has surely won me over regardless). How would you respond to this criticism? Why do you break shit during your sets?

I’d never heard anyone call it a gimmick before receiving this question. Since then, James Doubek made the same type of statement in the D.I.Y. media outlet DayAfterDayDC, so I reckon that’s what people think. I’d never thought about it that way.

According to dictionary.com, a gimmick is “an ingenious or novel device, scheme, or stratagem, especially one designed to attract attention or increase appeal.”

While it may be ingenious and somewhat novel, I know that our enthusiastic embrace of destruction always alienated and turned off far more people than it appealed to. I know, also, that the demolition really appeals to like-minded people who get it, which is all a punk band should hope for, anyway: to appeal to those who get it, while alienating, frightening, and insulting those who don’t.

I’ve really enjoyed destroying stuff for as long as I can remember; my old friends can tell you numerous stories about me smashing and burning things for no other reason than the sheer joy it brings. Thinking back on it all, I have a lot of happy memories! I remember sneaking off as a child to smash bottles.

The best date I ever went on in high school was when I asked my friend if she was into breaking stuff and she demurely replied “Yes,” so we went to an abandoned shed and demolished everything in it. There was a lot of stuff in there; it took a while and was a lot of fun. Subsequently, we made out, ftw.

When I first heard “Smells like Teen Spirit” the music suited me to a T and Nirvana immediately became my favorite band. It wasn’t until a while later that I saw the video. I related.

We started smashing stuff at our shows because I really enjoy doing so.

Georgetown University had a plethora of “outdated” computer monitors laying around all over the place – like 50 of ‘em piled up behind the library at a time and numerous others in corridors all over campus – and I would stockpile them by the dozens in my on-campus apartment for our sets. It was just a way to enjoy myself, although it immediately became apparent that our friends also really liked smashing computers, computer monitors, outdated A.V. equipment that we found in dusty corners of rarely used rooms, etc.; G-Town had all kinds of derelict technology all over the place, forgotten and/or waiting to be disposed of. I disposed of it the right way.

It’s still just a way for me to enjoy myself and provide some fun for my friends and the people who enjoy the band.

I have an inordinate amount of rage, always have, and it is one way to let the rage out. After smashing a bunch of stuff, I always feel better for a little while.

In addition, this stratagem is one way the Coits adhere to our mission statement of not being another bland, boring, plain, staid, formulaic live band.

We know that the destruction actually severely limits our appeal and opportunities (and hence the attention the band receives), but we do it for the joy it brings; one or two other members of the band aren’t into it, but most Coits get it. Mr. Underwood, in particular, certainly does.

Finally, smashing stuff at our shows also offers an obvious statement about the value and lifecycle of technology, as well as our nation’s rabid consumption and the nearly immediate obsolescence our purchases. Things worth hundreds of dollars, even thousands of dollars, just a few years ago are now considered worthless by much of the populace. At one show I tried to auction off a few computer monitors and perhaps even a desktop computer or two; I’m fairly sure they still worked. No one bid on them.

Let’s talk about you, if you don’t mind.  You’re a very bright, well spoken, successful guy. Why do you continually live in sub-par living situations (Corpse Fortress, Chris Moore’s room in 2008, the smallest room in the Newton Street house, etc.)? You can surely afford a real room. Do you have an affinity for such living spaces?
1) I dispute the premise of your question. For a person like me, these living situations are well above par. Putting me at the Corpse Fortress was like putting a pig in slop. I fit right in. I really like Loren Martin and Jessie “Corpse Fortress Princess” Brennan. Living at the CF also gave me the chance to become friends with Dylan and Brendan Griffiths, who are awesome. It also gave me the chance to get to know Psi-Dog and other people who used to hang out over there.

Also, it allowed the Coits to have a practice space and a place to book shows whenever we wanted, and it allowed me to see a lot of great shows for free, and even occasionally get paid to facilitate awesome shows.

There aren’t a lot of things better than having some of your favorite bands performing in your basement, while every few hours people hand you hundreds of dollars.

Also, my rent was $90 a month for an entire year, allowing me to subsist as a freelance writer. The second time I lived there, I had a much bigger room and my rent was $250 a month.

1a) Chris Moore pimps out a bedroom like he pimps out his life – living in his room at the Chill Factory was one of my best living situations ever, and it gave me the chance to get to know Justin Malone, Nick Tape, Pat Vogel, Drew E., Turboslut Jean, and Big Al, etc.

It also gave the Coits a great place to practice and record, and it allowed me to go on a weekend tour with Sick Fix and borrow money from Pat Vogel. There were a lot of cool basement shows happening within a few blocks of the Chill Factory at the time, too. It was great. That place was kinda expensive, though – like $500 a month.

1aa) The Newton Street house is a similar situation: It’s giving me the opportunity to become friends with Zachary Wuerthner, John Scharbach and Ahron Lion of Judah, etc. – I’m on the same wavelength, more or less, as all of ’em, but didn’t really know ’em well (or at all) before. Now they love the Coits! Newton Street will also give the Coits a place to practice. My bedroom is small, but that’s just fine with me; it’s comfortable, and I don’t have many possessions compared to the average 30-year-old American. $350 rent.

2) Thank you sincerely for the compliments. They are meaningful to me. I don’t necessarily see myself that way. I often see myself as a depressive / depressing, narcissistic, boring, scummy, sketchy, burned-out useless sellout full of soul doubt, a creepy drug-addicted idiot savant who was offered a charmed life on a silver platter and has done a great job of throwing it away.

3) I have accomplished a lot as journalist, and have enjoyed far more success as a writer than I expected to, but I spent years eking out a living as a freelance reporter, and journalism is not very remunerative for the vast majority of its practitioners. If you view it as an art, you might end up living like an artist.

4) My folks thought it would be a good idea to strongly encourage me to attend college and place the attendant financial burden squarely on my shoulders.

My father recently informed me that I will probably live and die deep in debt; he said that’s just normal for our social class and I should just accept it ftw. I hope that, if that’s the case, I live high on the hog and enjoy a rich array of experiences and material goods and leave Wells Fargo with the tab (I like to say that my family business is declaring bankruptcy, which worked out fairly well for my grandmother).

So, I don’t actually believe that I can afford “a real room.” I can’t really afford anything, strictly speaking. My student loans cost more than $500 a month – kids, go a community college, and then to a state school.

Despite the financial burden, I’m glad I went to G-Town. My journalism professor there was one of the first people to give me paid newspaper work – and she gave me tens of thousands of dollars worth of work over the years and allowed me to interview Ice Cube, Pete Seeger, Pat Smear, Tom Morello, Curt Kirkwood, Billy Zoom, and many more. Working for her opened the door for all the other really cool things I’ve done as a reporter.

4) I am cheap.

What are your dreams for the Coits?
We’re on a good trajectory now, where more and more people are into the band and our old friends still come out to our shows. If we can stay on this trajectory, keep writing cool songs and playing cool shows, I’ll be happy.

I hope to move out of town ASAP. I work downtown and terrorism and world affairs provide me with near-constant dread, despite my anti-anxiety medication. I hope to return to my hometown to spend more time with my family (in addition to my parents, I am very close with my maternal grandmother, who is an accomplished painter, inventor and writer), and coach high school (or middle school) basketball, which I feel is my calling.

I hope that some Coits fan, or someone in the band, starts fronting the band after I leave and takes the Coits to the top of the charts, and consequently I never have to work again and can use my fair share of the resultant proceeds to open a bar / inn / venue in my hometown in far northern New York and subsequently launch a political career.

What’s your take on that FAGGOT show you guys played? What did you think of them?
Oh man, Faggot was awesome! I really liked both the songs and the shtick. They were the only band we’ve ever gigged with that put the Coits to shame insofar as presenting a great stage show and taking punk to a psychotic extreme. It was great, but I don’t want to compete on that level, because I don’t want to end up fucking pigs onstage.

The Coits are sex-positive and pro-liberation. That was a really fun show; I’m really glad we played it.

Faggot definitely didn’t respect the space.

I watched their set, but somehow missed both the oral sex and feces – there was a lot going on; perhaps I stepped out of the room at the wrong time – I was particularly transfixed by their super-creepy dancer.

The Coits seem so different from the other punk bands in DC …  not even in a good or bad way. I don’t even know where to start. Can you shed some light on this?
Yes. It is interesting to me that the vast majority of the people who are the prime drivers of the local scene – such as NickTape, ’Bec Levy, Spoonboy, James Doubek, Chris Moore, Orion P, G$U$, etc. – grew up in the area and have known each other since they were in high school.

I did a good interview with Chris Moore (which will soon appear on the D.I.Y. media outlet DayAfterDayDC.com), where we talked about this.

Chris remembers Orion (Ilsa) and Daniel (Deathammer) showing up at a show at Chris’s mother’s house when they were all teenagers and thinking, “How can I reach these kids?” Now in their mid-20s, they’ve all experienced considerable success as musicians.

People who grow up around here have a lot of shared points of reference and influences, which influence their bands. It is relatively easy for them to become conversant in the sprawling universe of punk / underground / extreme music.

John Albaneaze, Prescoit, Hunt-Nat and I didn’t grow up in D.C., so our conception of punk wasn’t Crispus Attucks, the Suspects, Spitfires United, Enemy Soil, Q and not U, Nation of Ulysses, Page 99, Black Eyes, Lungfish, Fugazi, Autoclave, Aggressive Behavior, etc.

My conception of punk was Minor Threat, Sick of it All, Bad Religion 1980-1985, Operation Ivy, Big Audio Dynamite, the Sex Pistols, Devo, the Violent Femmes, Rancid, Civ, the Ramones, etc. – stuff that would be accessible to a kid in the ’90s growing up in the middle of nowhere.

I also tried some more avant bands (Fugazi, Flipper, etc.), but didn’t like them at the time.

I loved punk, but was also into grunge and alternative rock and Megadeth, Ani DiFranco, Bob Dylan, etc.

We’re coming at punk from a really different place than someone like Chris Moore is, because I spent the first 21 years of my life in a small towns in upstate New York, and it wasn’t easy to get down with the local scene even after I transferred to G-Town (I always had a ton of homework, plus I look like a square, etc.).

I didn’t really truly converge with the “D.C. scene” until I started booking the U-Turn (when I was 24 or so) and moved into Chris Moore’s pimped-out bedroom a few years after that.

I think the Coits are probably the only punk band in the area that isn’t comprised of teenagers that’s overtly influenced by the Sex Pistols – not necessarily musically, but definitely philosophically.

Johnny Rotten had some great quotes. Here are some paraphrases:
“Be like me – be original!”
“Everybody tries to look good onstage, so I tried to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame,”
“A cheap holiday in other people’s misery!” (originally a Situationist slogan, ftw)

The Pistols and Nirvana were trying to subvert everything, it seems, and so are we.

Musically, our songs are more simplistic and catchy than those of any local band I can think of, but the people who play the instruments in our band are much better players than the average rock musician.

We have a lot of guitar solos – like Bad Religion – which is rare in the area. Simon’s solos sometimes are really wicked and unique. He’s really skilled.

Plus, Chino, G and Shin all bring their own sensibilities to the band. It’s rare for anyone in the band to suggest that anyone else play anything in a particular way; so it’s a singular blend, to be sure.

Also, I can’t think of any bands from the area (other than the Screws and Copstabber and sometimes Max Levine) that have an overt sense of humor, and we definitely have a drier, more subtle sense of humor than the aforementioned bands.

Also, I sing, and not too many D.C. bands that play hard punk feature singing nowadays.

The best band in the area, incidentally, remains A Warm Gun.

Can you speak on your current and previous relationship with Garybird?
Special thanks to Clementine O’Connor, Libby Ellsworth-Kasch, Ayush Amatya, Alex Owings, Luke Bailey, Kurt Steigel, Parker and Lianne Bollinger, Abby Lavin, Jamie Gahlon, Jamie Bowman, Evan Botcher, James Viano, Greg Mortenson, Chris Rufo, E-Roc, James Doubek, Zack Pesavento, Pat Jagla, Ilsa, the Screws, John Scharbach, Justin Malone, Loren Martin, Nick Popovici, Sasha Rex, Mike Bazzone, Barnett, H. Green, Johnny Bones, Hussain M., Kalim M., Ben Crabb, Stephanie Sailo, Stephanie E. Sears, Rachel Horst, Matt Parsons, Drew Bashaw, Kyle Payton, Jay Nye, Sven Curth, Ricky Fitts, Donovan DeMacy, Josh Chase, Joel White, Elisabeth Schulte, Emily Reynolds-Stringer, Fil, Margarete Schulte, Michelle Denicola Miller, Michael Battaglia, ’Bec Levy, Ian MacKaye, Head-Roc, Jarobi White, Brian Baker, Fletcher & Pennywise, Brain Damaged, Flora, Danny K., HR, Mookie, Dave Stone, Maurice Alvarado, Big Al, Adam Piece, Mark Andersen, Chad Clark, John Langford IV, Ron Bercume, NickTape, Zachary Wuerthner, Simeon, Miguel, Alexandra, Blake, Roger Scully, David “Bones” McCullough, James Willett, Dave Homeowner, Daniel Jubert, Surgery Dot Com, At the Graves, Revolta, P. Spencer, Jamie Sherman, Ian Svenonius, Justin Moyer, H.R., Krist Novoselic, Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Rachel Atcheson, Triff Store Magic, Usuario2, and, of course, Rachel Horst.

What does punk rock need, and what does punk rock need less of?
Punk rock, like the world, needs more Coits fans – and fewer sheep, bandwagon riders, conformists, lemmings, avid consumers, material fetishists, “politically correct” thought and speech police, crypto-fascists, fascists, gossips, lazy people, overeaters, drunks, drug addicts, thieves, frightened rabbits, sex-negative vigilantes, morality police, humorless prudes, unintelligent people and boring lames.

I remember Greg Graffin saying that the definition of punk is to be different by being yourself. The Coits embrace that definition. My dad once memorably defined punk as “mad rock,” and we also embrace and embody that definition (“mad” in both senses, ftw).

Punk, like the world, needs more joy and less shame (Ani DiFranco reference ftw).

Our music can be heard at thecoits.bandcamp.com/album/scanning-for-viruses

We have a tight music video for “Funk Rock for the Left Wing” up on Youtube, courtesy of Mike Bazzone. Other cool clips of us playing at the Corpse Fortress are also up on Youtube, ftw.

The Coits: Louder than love, harder than hate, faster than death, smarter than bombs.

All we want are your hearts, minds, and reproductive organs.

Nicktape FTW!